Monday, February 20, 2012

The Facts of Life about Men - Conservative vs With It!

"The Facts of Life"
Young Romance
DC Comics
Cover Art by Jay Scott Pike
Story Art by Jack Abel and Vince Colletta
Number 178

Growing up my younger sister and I were very, very different. She was the cheerleader to my Goth chick. I was the book lover to her total hater of books and those who read them. She was the mean girl to my attempt to be kind to everyone.

Our differences are only slightly less pronounced today.

Don't get me wrong, I love my sister and, quite frankly, I totally envy her ability to verbally castrate a man in mere seconds. It is amazing, even if a little uncomfortable, to watch. But, while I have no doubt that that ability lies dormant just below my surface, I'm not sure I would ever want to harness it.

Truth be told, my parents just didn't raise meek girls. One of the things my father is fond of saying is I'm surprised that either of my daughters were able to have children. I thought their balls would get in the way.

Yeah, that about sums us both up pretty well.

Of all our differences, our taste in men is certainly one of the bigger ones. I pursued tall and smart. (I wasn't always successful.) She was after short and none too bright. (She wasn't always successful either.)

Despite this difference in taste, I once made the mistake of telling her I found a specific guy attractive. She instantly went over to him and spent the next little while flirting with him. Shoulder touching, Bicep stroking, hair flipping. She was good.

Of course she said she did this just to see if he would be a good match for you. Yeah, I didn't believe her either.

It wasn't much of a loss since I really only found him attractive because he was late every where he went and his clothes were always so wrinkled he looked liked he must have picked them up off of the floor and got dressed in a dark closet. For some reason I found that endearing. (Perhaps I imagined him as having so many weighty mathematical equations in his head that he was too distracted to dress himself like the adult he was.) Needless to say, I avoided the same mistakes in the future.

But, as always, I have gone off on a tangent. Sorry!

Well today's story is about two sisters who also struggle with differing taste in men. (Though they can, no doubt, agree on how much leg to show!)

In The Facts of Life, Emily and Ina seem to always butt heads regarding the qualities most important in a man. Emily going for the young biker Santa set and, while Ina, preferring the stock broker sensibilities, she's more interested in what is on the inside.

This is a pointless argument. Emily certainly isn't a bra wearer and Ina, no doubt, is. In my experience women that different aren't likely to ever agree on anything.

And, while admittedly, I like a man in a suit, Andy's got such a crazy jawline in that lower left panel that even the suit isn't working for him. Of course if one were dating Frank, no question who will be paying for dinner.

In the lower left panel Emily looks like here sandals are too small. Perhaps she could afford sandals that fit if she didn't have to pay for all of her and Frank's dates.

Looks like someone let a werewolf in the house. But that werewolf looks pretty damn hot in that suit and tie so I vote that he gets to stay!

See, it really is what is on the inside that is important. Though I can't help but wonder if Frank is going to have to ask Emily to dress a little less like a prostitute while accompanying him to school functions.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

No Date this Valentine's Day? Yeah, me neither.

"Not Born for Love"
Teen Confessions
Charlton Comics
Story Art by Charles Nicholas and Vince Alascia
Number 86

Today's post is for those who are also alone this Valentine's Day. I feel your pain. With my husband working a late shift I will be spending my Valentine's Day alone. (Well, technically with a baby, a toddler and a six year old.) But this lonesome Valentine's day is certainly not the first. Yep, even the amazing Spectergirl has spent her fair share of Valentine's Days without a special someone by her side.

I know, I know. It is nearly impossible to imagine but I speak the truth! There was once a times when I was not the master of relationships and dating that I am now and, though few and far between (I assure you!), times where my affections were not necessarily reciprocated.

In fact, at 17 I was completely smitten with a friend who was a 6' 4" blonde, Mensa member on my high school swim team (every thing's better when wet!) who was head over heals for one of my closest friend. (How could he?!)

This girl, who must have been completely blind, would never even give him the time of day. And she spent more than a year ignoring him as I kept my own fondness a secret.

Finally, two weeks before Valentine's he asked me out. I was so thrown off, after so many months of worshiping from afar, that I said "no". (WTF?!!) How smooth was I?

Of course, he never asked me again and I don't blame him. And that, I'm sure, was for the best since a man obsessed with a poetry writing, no make-up wearing, all-natural hemp girl could never turn around and truly be interested in a dyed hair, black lipstick wearing girl who shunned all things natural.

Besides, I'm sure he would have spent the entire time talking about my friend anyway.

Now, to the lonesome girl story at hand. In Not Born for Love we meet the lonely, boyfriendless Juliet Woods. Too tall, too skinny and a little too smart, Juliet can not seem to catch a man. (I hear ya sister!)

Hate to break it to you Juliet, but Susanne may be the dumbest girl in the freshman class but I think they are more interested in how well she is filling out that shirt.

Awkward is code for she looks fat. That sleeveless sweater and belt are not helping.

I'm not sure which makes me cringe the most the you needed to, Lydia or the I've been eating like a pig.

Mrs. Gannon seems really intense while watching them kiss in that last panel. It is really creeping me out.

A turtle neck AND a sweater vest. Very few men can pull that look off.

See, if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - there is no problem a little exercise and a man to practice kissing with can't solve.

Happy Valentine's Day!