Friday, April 20, 2012

Want to feel like less of a man?

Secret Romance
Charlton Comics
Cover Art by Frank Bolle
Story Art by Charles Nicholas and Vince Alascia

Number 43

I know what you gentlemen are thinking ... Hey! I'm as much of a man as the next guy!

Sorry boys but compared to Clete Andrews you just started your period.

Time and time again Charlton Comics has shown us that they know women. In Reckless, this time around they prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they know real men. And how!

Adrenaline junkie and child of privilege Clete Andrews is very likely the sexiest man to grace the pages of Secret Romance. He is certainly the hottest man to ever vacation at a luxury hotel in the Caribbean. And no doubt Anne Moultrie thanks God he was there because without him, she would have unquestionably been just another victim of...


With Clete on the scene, Anne is able to make her escape, thus leaving Clete Andrews to do what real men to best.

Especially since Clete no doubt tea-bagged him.

At dinner that night, looking oh-so-fine in a dinner jacket, Clete tells Anne about his life of manly excitement. 

 On occasion I also donate blood and testosterone to the Red Cross.

But Anne finds his dangerous lifestyle worrisome.

Sorry, I just can't see this black hair god going for little Miss Ash-blonde over there. But it could just be jealous talking.

But Anne's attraction of Clete has her over stepping the bounds of someone he has know for less then a week.

And Clete gets pissed.

Looks like someone isn't getting felt up on the hotel couch tonight.

Despite Clete's anger, or maybe because of it, Anne can't stay away. And, on a whim, finds Clete in the hotel's casino on one hell of a roll. And ready to take one more roll of the dices.

And because there is just something about a man who has no qualms about bumming money off his parents...

But that night Anne's dreams tell her the truth.

Like the ferocious shark that brought them together,Clete Andrews was not a man easily caged.

A fact proved the next morning when he skips town.

All too soon Ann's vacation comes to an end and she returns home, thinking to never see Clete Andrews again. Until ...

Clete Andrews. Isn't that the name of ... the guy who was kicked out of the hotel hot tub with you?

Of course, Anne is unable to turn away.

And, if only to cinch his total hotness ...

Wow! I think I might even have a crush on him. The Adventure People looking jumpsuit and helmet are no doubt helping. 

With this news that Clete is in the hospital, Anne feels she must see him.

And, not deterred in any way by the fact that Clete all but dumped her at the hotel when he check out leaving only a note behind, Anne buys a plane ticket and heads out immediately to see him.


And discovers that sometimes if you want to cage something wild you have to break a few bones.


How's that uterus working out for you boys?

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Only Spartan women give birth to real men! - Oh honey, you're preaching to the choir!

So I told my husband I was in the mood to watch a movie where lots of people killed each other.

We ended up snagging a copy of 300.

The movie could have only been a better fit if I had voiced a desire to watch something homoerotic with a bunch of well put together men wearing little more than a Speedo, cape and a strategically applied air brushed tan

Well, at As Told to Stan Lee we are not only all about comics, we are also all about objectification. So today I am bringing you the shirtless men of Romance. (Aaron thought I should try for 300 days of shirtless men but even I would grow bored with that.)

Now gentlemen, before you go slinking off to put on a shirt, remember these are the ideal. No one expects you to look this good.

So, with no further delay, lets get to it!

Secret Romances #17 - Ohh, Captain...

Grabby? No need to apologize.

Sweethearts #123 - Never Trust a Sailor

Though, in my experience, the older sailors are normally covered in tattoos of naked women (unless the women they married made them tattoo bikinis on them) so really it's a draw.

Secret Romances #17 - You Never Can Tell

If Lila could only get these two to get along there would be the makings of one hell of a cruise.

I Love You #102 - With the Swingers

I'm all for public displays of affection but these two are just creepy.

Career Girl Romances #62 - Why Does He Kiss Me - ?

Makes you wonder exactly what kind of pills did this younger Stan Lee send for.

Teen Confessions #83 - Daddy's Little Girl!

Well honey, in that case, you should wear your school uniform from eight grade. - Dad has got to get a clue!

Sweethearts 134 - In The Shadows

I bet he smells of nothing but chlorine and masculinity.

Teen Age Love #86 - Hour of Despair

Jonnie Lve. Do I really need to say anything else?

Sweethearts 134 - Love Ain't Hat

I'm willing to bet she just threw up a little bit.

Teen Age Love #91 - What Must I Do?

Exactly what are either of you doing that in remotely interesting? Let alone wild.

Secret Romance #13 - All or Nothing

Yeah, I'll let you insert your own joke here. I do have standards you know.

Teen Age Love #66 - Another's Arm

See, I would have thought she started the whole thing when she choose to wear body paint in lieu of a swim suit.

Secret Romance 33 - The Love Goddess

Something about Steve's stance make me think that he might not blame Wharton for finding Wendy attractive but he personally just doesn't swing that way.

And I saved my favorite for last.

For Lovers Only 62 - I'll Pay for These Kisses

If I were Martinez and Elier I would have signed it that large as well.

Alright ladies! You can feel free to go back to your unsatisfactory lives and your sub par men.